yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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