Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
