Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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