I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
