Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
