Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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