you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
