Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do herpes really smell.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
