You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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