your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
