Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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