I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
