she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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