party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
