I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
