DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
do nipples grow back?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
