Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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