I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
