miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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