You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
