You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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