i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my poor anus
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize