worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
