It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
