If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
