U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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