oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
