I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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