operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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