i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
