Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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