you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
