The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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