Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i drank out of a bidet.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
