We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
