i already hear my dad disowning me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
