your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I could make wine with my vomit
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
