Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
