you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
