porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
