woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
