I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
