direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize