Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
