I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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