I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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