M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
