Quick, to the slutcave!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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