I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
