There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize