I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
