No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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