WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize