He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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