Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I need to calm my uterus...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
