love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think people are normalizing furries
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
