Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
