I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
