i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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