I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
