my mouth tastes like poor choices
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize